He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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