i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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