She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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