Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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