So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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