TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
