You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
