Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
