There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
