thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
