highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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