I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
