I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
