Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
