Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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