Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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