im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
