What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I currently don't understand fingers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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