Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
