Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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