do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
