Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
