I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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