Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
