How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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