you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
