It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
