I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize