SEEEEXXX PLEASE
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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