you guys were way drunker than both of me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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