is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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