Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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