Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
