I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
