Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
