dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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