yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
dude. I can hear the air.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
