I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
