paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
