He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This baby is an asshole
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize