just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
