ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
