Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
