For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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