Yo dont text me then not text me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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