But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
