So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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