I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
