its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
