Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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