i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
