Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
