at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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