And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
