3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
