if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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