He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my poor anus
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize