And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
