did you get engaged???
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
