If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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