were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
