i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
