We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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